Emotional Triggers

Working in organisational culture change, I frequently encounter conflict between good intentions and the reality of working under pressure. One group of senior managers I coach are clearly good people, but, as their Managing Director admits, at the end of the month, ‘they just flip’.

Emotional outbursts, threatening words, and aggressive body language are hard to avoid when caught up in the heat of the moment. However, the impact on colleagues is unsettling:  someone they’ve seen as a mentor for most of the month becomes frightening when ‘the numbers’ fall below expectations. That impression lingers, creating anxiety and reducing productivity in the weeks that follow.

Daniel Goleman, a psychologist best known for his work on emotional intelligence (EQ), actually introduced the concept in his 1995 book Emotional Intelligence. He highlighted EQ as a key factor in personal and professional success, alongside traditional cognitive intelligence (IQ). Goleman defined emotional intelligence as beginning with self-awareness: the ability to recognise and understand your moods, needs, drives and their effect on others. This skill is essential for effective workplace participation as it helps manage relationships and navigate work challenges with empathy and composure.

The subconscious mind plays a crucial role in how we respond to the world around us. It operates beneath our conscious awareness, storing memories, associations, and emotional experiences from our past. The subconscious is vast, interconnected and can bring up emotional responses from moments as far back as childhood. The real challenge arises when these emotional responses are triggered without us realising it.

For example, a request for feedback may trigger feelings of inadequacy or anxiety, especially for those with a history of harsh criticism. Conflicts with colleagues over differing opinions or work styles can activate frustration or defensiveness, often tied to past experiences of conflict. These emotional responses are usually more about subconscious memories than the present situation.

Another common trigger is the pressure of unrealistic deadlines or overwhelming workloads. The stress created by these situations can bring feelings of helplessness or burnout, particularly in those who face such challenges repeatedly. Even routine requests, such as being asked to take on extra responsibilities, may trigger angry resentment if they tap into past experiences of being stretched too thin or feeling unsupported.

By becoming more aware of our triggers, we can begin to understand how our subconscious influences our emotions and actions. This awareness is the first step towards emotional regulation, allowing us to respond with clarity, empathy, and control. Self-awareness isn’t a destination but an ongoing process. One that helps us navigate the complexities of work and life with greater emotional intelligence.